I’ve recently commented some about my frustrations with my own raiding guild. We’ve had officers leave, raiders come unprepared, refuse to sign up, cause drama, show lack of motivation, and generally not be there for the guild as the officers would like. There is no guild that is immune to all of these problems.
Matticus recently posted about an event that happened in his guild. The responses were pretty much supportive and called out the “offender” as a selfish, in-it-for-himself player. I myself responded with support that Matt’s Loot Council didn’t fail, but the player did.
Oh wait I did say pretty much supportive, didn’t I? In ever so greedy goblinish fashion, Gevlon posts his own comments* against why he disagrees with the majority.
When I first started to read Gevlon’s post, my blood started to boil. My first response was “what a self serving little prick!” Go read it, but keep an open mind because after I calmed down it occurred to me that Gevlon’s got a lot of good points that we as “loyal” raiders need to consider.
Ask any God-fearing, down-to-earth, patriotic American (if there are any left) what their top three loyalties are in life and you’ll probably hear something like:
- 1 – God
- 2 – Family
- 3 – Country
WoW in my opinion is no different and even if we don’t think about it, I’ll bet that almost everyone has the following three priorities:
- 1 – Self
- 2 – Friends
- 3 – Guild
Priority 1: Self
A lot of you might be thinking that I’m wrong for putting Self as #1 here because of the unselfish way you help other guild members, friends, etc. and you’d be right, but I’m going to argue that you’re still putting yourself first.
In the fifth season Friends episode “The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS”, Joey claims “there is no such thing as a selfless good deed” and Phoebe tries to prove him wrong. Joey basically believes that because you get a “good” feeling from helping others it makes it a selfish deed; you did it because it made you feel good.
Ask yourself the question, if someone I did not know and not from my guild asked me to help them do the things that my guildmates or friends did, would I go out of my way to help them? The answer is no for the simple fact that you’ve got better things to do.
You’re playing a game in which you have a finite amount of time to do the things you want. So you aren’t going to spend a lot of time helping random strangers that can get help from anyone, UNLESS you get something from it. That something can be gold, a point in a profession, or even you’re bored out of your mind from farming and answering this guy’s question is a way to break the monotony.
Ultimately the things you do for your friends, your guild, or even complete strangers are things that will benefit you. It’s awfully nice of you to pass that loot to someone else that “needs” it more, because it’ll make the next run that much easier. Not to mention the sense of community it builds and which helps keep people in your guild ultimately benefiting you as you progress through end-game content. You’re so selfish! :)
Priority 2: Friends
You’re always going to be more eager to help your friends than you are complete strangers or even other members of your guild. This is human nature. You help those you feel help you. Again you’re pretty selfish here. What kind of person are you?!
Priority 3: Guild
Like I mentioned above, helping out your guildies only helps yourself in the long run. The better your guildies get, the better your runs get, the better the loot you’ll get. In the long run, you’re doing it because it ultimately benefits you to do so.
How often have you stayed in a guild that wasn’t going to get you what you wanted?
Gevlon left his raiding guild because after the holidays were over he expected that normal raiding would continue. What raiding did continue was more or less half-assed. He /gquit.
Now some from his guild probably thought he was being selfish and they’d be right. He left because it was “not what [he] want[ed] from a raid.” Funny thing is, I don’t think any of us would fault him for it.
So why do we get upset when people quit our guilds?
How To Handle “Selfish” People Us
Last night Group 1 was back in Naxx and this time we got Sapphiron down! That’s a different story, but while we were doing this we had a long time member /gquit without a word. Our GM I think took it kind of hard. He’s the one that found this guy. He’s the one that helped this guy gear up in BC and this is how he’s repaid.
We all have something in us that sets off alarms when someone /gquits. The more we know that person, the more likely we are to be “hurt” by it. We need to distance ourselves from it though.
Before reacting emotionally to why someone left a guild take a breath and remember this all important item:
EVERYONE IS FREE TO DO AS THEY PLEASE WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF THE GAME SET BY BLIZZARD.
In a nutshell the guy left because he wanted a guild that was going to use him, that he hadn’t been promoted to officer when others that took advantage of us had been, he was not happy with being relegated to Group 2 Naxx, and overall I think he just felt left out and was a little bitter about it.
Would any of us fault him for this? Probably not, but wait…
He was rarely, if ever, around for raid times. That pretty much sums why he didn’t get what he wanted on all counts. Sorta changes the outlook doesn’t it?
I did tell him that Group 1 was going to get Naxx finished this week at which time I myself, and possibly a tank, would be moving into Group 2 to help out**. His response seemed to indicate regret as he said “oh i didn’t know” and I could tell the thought occurred to him that if he’d waited he’d be in Group 1. He then asked me “why?”, to which my response was “because I have to keep people like you happy”. Yes, that was rather a low blow, but I was upset*** at the time and that’s the politest response I was capable of giving.
Bottom line, the guild was not providing him what he “wanted” so why shouldn’t he go?
What Goes Around Comes Around (or does it?)
Guilds change, people’s needs change. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s their dollar. It’s their time. Let them go. Don’t be bitter.
We make ourselves feel a little better by thinking “what comes around goes around”, but does it?
There will always be other guilds that are willing to “use” these people to get where they want to go. Those that leave will never get their comeuppance so why waste the energy feeling bitter about it? They used you. You used them.
It might be frustrating and I’m not above feeling bitter and joining that “follower-subroutine” Gevlon is so fond of talking about. It makes me feel rotten and lessens the enjoyment of the game, so I have to remind myself to let it go. Why? I’d rather enjoy the game because…I’m selfish.
* Gevlon just recently added a comment to his own post that he may be re-writing it with a different outcome because of the comments it received.
** Example of being selfish either way I go: I don’t want to be in Group 2 because I have spent a lot of gold trying to get Naxx on farm only to be able to complete it once and then not benefit from easy mode for a bit. I’m also selfish in that I’m going to Group 2 to help out those guys so they can gear up and get us in 25-mans and keep them happy so they don’t /gquit.
*** It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when people want to be officers. I’m of the opinion anyone wanting to be an officer is doing it for the wrong reason or they’d have started their own guild. I enjoy being a part of running my guild, but if I were to ever leave and join another I would never expect or actively campaign to be an officer. If I’m asked OK, but until then shut my piehole.