All I really need to know about how to play World of Warcraft I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the Paladin’s spellbook.
These are the things I learned:
- Share everything because you can’t raid on your own.
- Play fair unless you’re sure you can get away with it.
- Don’t duel players when you’re a healer. You’re bound to die.
- Put things back where you found them, because someone’s checking the bank log.
- Clean up your own mess. Skinners hate not being able to skin the dead animals.
- Don’t take things that aren’t yours. A “ninja” rep will follow you for a long time.
- Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody. They can’t see if you’re really sincere anyway.
- Wash your hands before you eat. You never know where your loot has been.
- Warm cookies and cold milk bring back health and mana.
- Live a balanced life – level a profession and fish and cook and do dailies and run heroics and raid.
- Take a nap every afternoon before raiding. Prepares you for the wipes.
- When you go out in the world, wear dark clothes and sunglasses. Your pale skin and eyes probably can’t handle the sunlight.
- Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, kind of like huntards.
- Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die. So do mages that aggro.
- And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK. Because someone’s about to do something stupid and you won’t want to miss it.
And it is still true, no matter how old you are–when you go out into the world, it is better to stick to guild runs than pugs.
Inspired by “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum and what happens when my mind wanders in the early afternoon… The source I used to help write this is found at this link.
Filed under: Humor |