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Friends, Guilds, & Guilt

One of the best things about World of Warcraft is the fact that it’s an MMO. One of the worst things about World of Warcraft is the fact that it’s an MMO.

For those of you following my blog, my old guild has in effect collapsed. Their website doesn’t even exist anymore, although the forums still do. I have therefore removed the link.

I’ve been sorta watching them ever since I left. Kind of hard not to do considering the friends I left behind. A part of me expected the collapse months ago while I was still there. Signs pointed that way although I’m sure not everyone would agree with me as to what those signs were.

I resisted the urge to leave my guild because of friendships and a part of me wondered if it would collapse if I did. I chalked up such thoughts to narcissism.

Once I found out about the collapse, I was a little surprised that I didn’t feel guilty. I know that before I left, feelings of guilt kept me there. So why did I not feel guilty now?

I started to really think about it. I realized that without meaning to I had gone through a series of steps, or realizations if you will, that ultimately made the process a lot easier.

Friendships & Loyalty

Things had gotten pretty bad for me. I was not happy. I dreaded logging in and playing. Every day was a constant battle with myself between wanting to play and not wanting to deal with it.

After dealing with months of guilt, I finally realized that ultimately for me to keep playing the game I needed to enjoy it again. I decided on a server transfer to completely remove myself from some of the problem people and the temptation to rejoin the guild. Due to time and now even more distance from the guild I am not opposed to admitting publicly that one of the biggest reasons for quitting was due to a small group of people. The realization that I needed to get away from them was the deciding factor.

Realizations

What I realized was that this is a game. The whole point of playing is to have fun and I hadn’t had any for a long time. Although I had friends I didn’t want to leave behind, I realized that as my friends they would hopefully understand and even if they didn’t completely understand, they would at least not hold it against me.

Friends come and go. Unless you’re somewhat lucky, you probably don’t even have the same friends you did in Kindergarten. You probably haven’t stayed in touch with many of your High School friends. College roommates? I don’t know where any of mine are anymore. I haven’t kept in touch with former work friends from even 18 months ago.

These things happen. Maybe to some of us more than others–especially considering I’ve lived in 9 states and 3 countries–but it happens to all of us to some degree eventually.

Making Your Own Decision & Dealing With Guilt

If you find yourself in this position, just remember that if they are true friends, they won’t hold your decisions against you. You may even try to stay in touch if you server transfer, but things may never be the same. It isn’t that you don’t like each other, it’s more that both of you have moved on. We may still be playing the same game, but guilds and/or even servers may be different, making the things you have in common a little different.

A little guilt is normal. It’s even healthy to some degree. Before leaving I even considered asking my friends to come with me because I thought it would alleviate some of that guilt I was feeling, but it appeared that the guild was doing well and going to survive. It wasn’t fair of me to ask, so I didn’t.

Once you realize that your true friends will accept your decision and not hold it against you, leaving a friend’s guild or even server transferring is an easier decision to make. I didn’t say it was completely easy, just easier.

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11 Responses

  1. The guild website url has changed:

    icestorm DOT guildomatic DOT com

  2. ^ can we say awkward? =X

    Well, that still doesn’t detract from the point of your blog entry. It is especially true on WoW that friends come and go, so I don’t imagine your friends held it much against you that you server transferred.

  3. @ HP – It is what is at this point. I hope they don’t hold it against me, but if they do…oh well.

  4. Well I am your friend Ky and I dont hold anything against you 🙂 As I have said before you have to do what you have to do to make you happy. Besids we have email (I hope you keep in touch with me). I am moving to the new server soon and probably wont be on Arathor much anymore. Incase you didnt know, thats what happened, everyone just picked up and moved. Change of scenery I guess, there is a post about it on the website, I do believe the term that was used was “trimming the fat” lol….. anyways I do miss you, and if its in the cards we will keep in touch, if not know that i never did blame you for moving and i am and will always be a friend to you 🙂

  5. lol I guess if I had clicked on the link i would have seen that you in fact did know about the transfer… lol sorry I hadnt read shrielkuls blog post before I posted my reply…

  6. It’s sad when those things happen but I guess it really reinforces the fact that you did right to move on.

  7. I don’t think anybody held it against you that you transferred. I do think maybe the perception was that you were bashing Icestorm, to a degree, on your blog. I have no opinion on that one way or another, by the way. The new server that most Icestorm (the non-trimmed fat) folks transferred to is less populated than Arathor, and it’s on Central time, not Pacific. (That’s one thing I don’t like about Arathor, and I wish that Blizzard included information on server time zones instead of just a list to choose from.) I’m just glad you are enjoying the game again.

  8. I just have to make a comment on the “trimmed fat” comment LOL .. I read that and made my decision to not move after that, not because of the comment of course it didnt bother me, but after I decided to leave, I re-read it and it got to me a little. I feel since I ultimately decided not to go, that comment means I was not dedicated to the guild. Which was so far off, I mean how could I not be dedicated to a guild that I was with for almost a year and had been with since the beginning. Oh well lol, I just hope everyone is happy and gets all they want out of the game. Good luck!

  9. *hugs* to Kyra…Since I didn’t write the comment, I can’t tell you to whom it refers or the intent behind it, but I’d bet money it wasn’t directed at you.

  10. […] They were often trying to raid on east coast time anyways, but it didn’t seem to work out. (There may have been other issues, but I wasn’t in the guild so I don’t know enough about it to […]

  11. I do read your blog on a regular basis ky. I may not comment as much as I should but do enjoy the reading.

    During the server transfer there were a few members that chose not to come over with us that we really do miss so that comment about trimming the fat was true for the most part but also has exceptions kyra being one of them 🙂

    “The whole point of playing is to have fun and I hadn’t had any for a long time”

    Thats probably the most important thing I’ve read in awhile. It’s all about fun and if your not having it then whats the point.

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