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Scrub Healing Patchwerk FTW!!!

So last night we ran Heroic Naxx like always. Everything was going fairly well except for the few people that kept aggroing mobs and dying. I got some new shoulders for my Ret set, Shoulderguards of Opportunity, and my shoulder token off Gluth which cost me 100 dkp, but I won it in the first round. Since our dkp is going to reset when we enter Ulduar on Wednesday, I figured may as well spend it and bid the max. 🙂 It is a nice upgrade.

Anyway, after I got the Shoulderguards of Opportunity I was waiting for the next pull when I decided to update Outfitter. So I attached it to my Retribution set and clicked back over to my Holy set. We moved on and eventually got to Patchwerk.

Now as everybody knows Patchwerk is a heal intensive fight. In 25 man two off-tanks are taking Hatefuls which at times is extremely nerve-wracking for healers. We had six healers assigned to three tanks. I of course was assigned to an offtank. As the fight went on I happened to notice my mana was at 30% and we weren’t that far into the fight. WTH?!!!

Confused I wondered if perhaps I had bumped my mouse while eating the Fish Feast that was out and didn’t get my mana back up? Oh well, I knew I could still do this so I popped Divine Plea for some mana and continued to heal. I saw my mana go back up, but that’s when things got weird…

Just at that time my off-tank started to take a lot of damage, so I found myself spamming Holy Light. Normally I can spam Holy Light and with the crits returning my mana I can do this for quite a while. I’m used to seeing my mana deplete by roughly 1-2% when using Holy Light.

Let me interject by saying, if you haven’t already noticed I judge everything on percentages. It’s much easier to process percentages compared to processing ever changing large numbers. 🙂 Warning: Tank is at 50%!!! OK that means…um…uh…oh yeah…BIG HEAL!!! Now where is that Holy Light hotkey?

So there I am spamming Holy Light when all of a sudden I noticed I’m at 12% mana! WTH is going on?!!! Something about this fight is glitched. Patchwerk must be draining my mana somehow. Pop another Divine Plea. Mana Pot. OK back up to 35%. I’ll just keep popping Divine Plea and it’ll all work out. Just keep calm.

…20 seconds later…

3%?! 3 f’ing percent?!!!! OMFG I’M GOING TO WIPE THIS RAID!!! My offtank is gonna die and it’ll be my fault! We’re only doing this with 6 healers tonight. For once my heals are actually needed and I’m gonna screw it up!

Amazingly enough we didn’t wipe. My tank survived and it was all good. I frantically started to check the combatlog, etc. to figure out what was going on. No one else seemed to have mana problems. I was watching them. So why me?

Damn! Patchwerk really must be glitched. The patch hit this week and the whole server’s been crazy. Someone in guild just mentioned that their dual spec talents were resetting. Maybe it’s tied to that. Maybe it’s tied…


Check gear. Sure enough I’m still wearing the Shoulderguards of Opportunity.

Wait, that’s not my healing necklace! OH SON OF A #$!%^!!!!

Yeah, there was a glitch all right, but it wasn’t Patchwerk. It was Outfitter and my brain! When I tried to switch gear back to Holy it wouldn’t. I was locked in Ret gear! I had to actually change specs to Ret which loaded my already worn Ret gear, then switch back to Holy to get my gear back on.

Now one might think that when you do something pretty stupid, but no one notices, that now’s a good time to keep your trap shut. But where’s the fun in that? 🙂

So I whisper Amber and she of course calls me out as a Scrub on vent. Now in my defense, I may be a Scrub…


And just for added $#!^s and giggles…

When Good Raids Go Bad


3 Responses

  1. You are not “awesome” for healing in ret gear and managing not to let the OT die.

    I am “awesome” for keeping the OT up DESPITE you being a scrub!


    And hooray for blowing DKP last night. I spent aaalll of it. Winning those pants for 1 DKP was hilarious.

    I can’t even remember what I was machine gun typing over…wait. Yes I can. It’s called “Mach is a scrub.”

  2. Well, good work finishing the fight. 🙂 I’m sympathetic – I spent all of Heroic Utgarde Pinnacle last night wondering why my DPS (as a Shadow priest) was so low, and after Ymiron I realized that I’d rezzed one of the DPS after a bad first pull (at the very beginning of the instance) and never put Shadowform back on. >_>

  3. @ Amber – LMAO! Whatever! You weren’t even on my tank. 🙂


    And yes I blew 100 dkp, but I had 148 and I gained idk how much more last night. AND dkp resets for Ulduar so might as well blow it now considering with Ulduar raids we won’t be doing 25 man Naxx as a guild anymore. 25 man Maly tonight I’ll still have more dkp than you! So ha! 😛

    @ Chris – LOL! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that, although I’ll admit I forget to use…that other buff that increases spellpower…crap…can’t even remember the name. 🙂 [Edit: Inner Fire. Inner Fire dammit!]

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